Nick Kroll And Stephen Launch #PuberMe For Celeb Puberty Pictures

December 13, 2019 0 By Peter Engel


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW
MY FIRST GUEST FROM “KROLL SHOW,” “THE LEAGUE,” AND “OH,
HELLO” ON BROADWAY. HIS NEW NETFLIX CARTOON SERIES
IS CALLED “BIG MOUTH.” PLEASE WELCOME NICK KROLL! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) WOW.>>I GOTTA SAY, I LIKES YOUR
OUTFIT BEFORE WITH THE PAINT-SPLATTERED SWEATS AND THE
BACKWARDS HAT BUT YOU LOOK LIKE THE VICEROY OF INDIA.>>THANK YOU! THANK YOU!>>Stephen: NOT EVERYBODY CAN
ROCK THE DOUBLE BREAST, MAN.>>YOU KNOW, AND I’M KEEPING IT
BUTTONED, AND WE’LL SEE HOW THAT FEELS. ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU. I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU SINCE THE
EMMYS. YOU WERE AT THE AFTER-PARTY.>>I WAS, INDEED. WONDERFUL JOB AT THE EMMYS. GREAT JOB.>>Stephen: GOT TO BE NAKED
AND EVERYTHING.>>YEAH, IT MUST HAVE FELT
GREAT.>>Stephen: YOU LIVE IN L.A.,
RIERT?>>I DO.>>Stephen: YOU SEE FAMOUS
PEOPLE ALL TIME.>>ALL THE TIME.>>Stephen: YOU GUYS ARE LIKE
THE WALL GREENS– “THERE’S TOM HAIFNGS, JIMMY STEWART, AND
BEYONCE.>>TOM HANKS GETTING VALTREX.>>Stephen: YOU SAY, “THERE’S
A FAMOUS PERSON. I WANT TO MEET THEM,” EVEN
THOUGH I’M FAMOUS.>>THE MOST EXCITING PEOPLE I
MET AT YOUR PARTY, YOUR AFTER-PARTY, WAS YOUR CHILDREN. I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH YOUR KIDS
BUT I WAS KIND OF DRUNK. AND I WAS LIKE, IS THIS WRONG TO
BE DRUNK IN FRONT OF STEPHEN’S CHILDREN?>>Stephen: NO, NO, NO. ANYTHING GOES. ANYTHING GOES AT THE EMMY
AFTER-PARTY.>>AND I MIGHT HAVE TRIED TO
SELL THEM COKE. AND I APOLOGIZE ABOUT THAT.>>Stephen: HAS TO HAPPEN
SOMETIME.>>EXACTLY.>>Stephen: I RATHER IT COMES
FROM A FRIEND.>>THANK YOU!>>Stephen: THANK YOU!>>IT’S THE GOOD STUFF.>>Stephen: THANK YOU.>>OH, MY GOD. IT WAS MY PLEASURE.>>Stephen: YOU’RE A GOOD MAN! YOU’RE A GOOD MAN.>>AND CAN I TELL YOU– THEY DID
IT LIKE PRO S.>>Stephen: GOOD, GOOD. THEIR MOM WOULD BE SO HAPPY. SO HAPPY TO HEAR THIS ON
NATIONAL TV.>>YEAH, YEAH.>>Stephen: WELL, OKAY, YOUR
NEW SHOW IS CALLED “BIG MOUTH.”>>YES.>>Stephen: I’VE GOT A PHOTO
HERE THAT I THINK IS PART OF THE INSPIRATION. YOU CAN TELL ME WHERE THE IDEA
OF THE SHOW CAME, AND THEN I WILL SHOW THE PEOPLE THE PHOTO.>>THE SHOW IS BASED ON ME AND
MY BEST FRIEND SINCE CHILDHOOD, ANDREW GOLDBERG. HE ENDED UP BEING A WRITER AND
PRODUCER FOR “FAMILY GUY.” AND I WAS ON THE HIT SHOW “CAVE
MEN.”>>Stephen: WERE YOU ONE OF
THE CAVE MEN?>>I WAS ONE OF THE CAVE MEN.>>Stephen: I DID NOT KNOW YOU
WERE ONE OF THE CAVE MEN?>>NOT ON THE TV COMMERCIAL
PEOPLE LIKES. ON THE TV SHOW PEOPLE HATED. BUT —
>>Stephen: WOW!>>YES, BUT HE AND I CREATED CRE
THIS SHOW TOGETHER WITH OUR FRIENDS MARK LEVIN AND JEN
FLAKETT.>>Stephen: HOW OLD ARE YOU IN
THIS PHOTO?>>13 YEARS OLD. IF PEOPLE CAN GET A CLOSE-UP ON
THAT. THERE WE ARE.>>Stephen: THIS IS YOU.>>THAT IS ME. I’M WEARING THE LITERALLY, EXACT
SAME SUIT. I AM WEARING ANOTHER
DOUBLE-BREASTED GOLD SUIT. AND SO ANDREW, WE WERE BEST
FRIENDS. WE REALLY FORMED EACH OTHERS’
SENSIBILITIES. BUT ANDREW GOT RAVAGED BY
PUBERTY.>>Stephen: IT HIT HIM FIRST?>>IT HIT HIM HARD AND YOUNG. I’M GOG SAY THIS ON NATIONAL
TELEVISION BECAUSE IT’S ON THE SHOW SO I APOLOGIZE. ANDREW, I LOVE YOU. BUT ANDREW, DURING A SLOW DANCE
WITH A GIRL AT A BAR MITZVAH MAY HAVE… UH– EJACULATED IN HIS
PANTSZ.>>Stephen: NOW, IS THIS A
STORY THAT HE TELLS PUBLICLY? ( LAUGH ).>>NOT ANYMORE! ( LAUGHTER )
NO, IT’S– IT’S– BUT IT’S ON THE SHOW.>>Stephen: REALLY, WOW?>>IT’S IN THE SHOW. SO I FEEL LIKE IT’S FAIR TO SAY. AND HE’S NOW MARRIED TO A
WONDERFUL WOMAN, HAS TWO GREAT KIDS, SO I THINK IT ALL WORKED
OUT.>>Stephen: THAT’S IN THE
SHOW?>>YES, IT’S IN THE SHOW.>>Stephen: IT’S A CARTOON,
OBVIOUSLY GEE, YES.>>Stephen: IS THIS A CARTOON
PARENTS SHOULD SIT DOWN AND WATCH WITH THEIR CHILDREN?>>STEPHEN, I’M GOING TO LEAVE
THAT UP TO EACH INDIVIDUAL PARENTS. I THINK IT’S VERY– VERY DIRTY,
BUT I ALSO –>>Stephen: AND HONEST.>>AND HONEST. — & IT’S TALKING ABOUT THE
STUFF THAT IS REALLY HARD TO TALK ABOUT. AND I THINK A LOT OF THAT FOR ME
IS PUBERTY IS A REALLY SCARY THING, AND I THINK MOST PEOPLE
FEEL LIKE THEY’RE GOING THROUGH IT ALONE. BUT THE TRUTH, IS EVERY SINGLE
ONE OF US GOES THROUGH PUBERTY, AND GOES THROUGH THIS RANGE OF
CRAZY EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS. YOUR BODY IS CHANGING. WE TRIED TO MAKE I SHOW THAT
REFLECTS THAT. IT’S KIND OF LIKE THE SEX ED
VIDEO I WISH I HAD GOTTEN TO SEE. BUT, ALSO, LIKE, FILTHY. ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: SPEAK OF THAT, WE
HAVE– A WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. AND THIS IS ONE I’M GOING TO
TELL YOU IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE. CBS TOLD US THAT THE CLIP WAS
TOO VULGAR TO SHOW. SO WE HEAVILY EDITED THE CLIP. WE, LIKE, BLEEPPED AND BLURRED
AND EVERYTHING. AND THEY SAID, “NO, NO, THAT’S
STILL TOO DIRT TOW SHOW.” BUT WE’RE GOING TO SHOW IT
ANYWAY. SET THIS UP FOR US. ( APPLAUSE ).>>THIS IS OUR FRIEND– WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT OUR FRIEND JESSI, WHO IS JOYCED BY THE I HAD
CLAIRS JESSI KLEIN, WHO JUST THAT DAY HAS BECOME A WOMAN.>>Stephen: AGAIN, ALL YOU ARE
ABOUT TO SEE IS ALL WE COULD SHOW YOU.>>SO, DID YOU KNOW THAT (BLEEP
(BLEEP)?>>IT’S REALLY, HONESTLY CRAZY. I MEAN WHAT, WOULD YOU DO IF
(BLEEP) ONCE A MONTH JUDGE OH, MY. I DON’T KNOW. WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT IMAGE IN
MY HEAD? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?>>ONE TIME I ATE A BUNCH OF
ROASTED BEATS AND THEN WHEN I (BLEEP) AND I THOUGHT (BLEEP)
AND I WAS LIKE OH, NO.>>RIGHT.>>AND THEN I WAS LIKE, “OH,
YEAH. I ATE BEATS. SO…”>>I DON’T THINK THAT’S THE
SAME. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: SO, DO YOUR BEST. ( APPLAUSE )
IT’S STILL PRETTY GOOD.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: THAT’S STILL
PRETTY DAMN GOOD, EVEN WITHOUT KNOWING ANYTHING.>>IT’S SO MUCH BETTER AND WORSE
THAN WHAT YOU BLURRED OUT.>>Stephen: NOW, YOU’RE ALSO
TRYING TO GET OTHER CELEBRITIES TO POST AWKWARD PUBERTY PICTURES
OF THEMSELVES.>>YEAH. I THINK IT’S SUCH A– AGAIN,
THAT TIME IS SO AWKWARD, WIENG WE NEED TO– THERE’S CATHARSIS
IN SHOWING WHO WE WERE AND WHAT WE BECAME AND I WOULD LOVE TO
ENCOURAGE CELEBRITIES — IF YOU, STEPHEN, HAD PHOTOS OF YOURSELF
AT THAT AGE.>>Stephen: I CAN JUMP IN ON
THAT?>>YES, I CAN’T WAIT.>>Stephen: THIS IS ME AT THAT
AGE.>>OH! OH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
LOOK HOW THICK THAT KNOT IS!>>Stephen: WELL, I CAN TELL
YOU WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THIS KNOT IS I JUST CAME FROM THE
GYM, WHICH IS WHY MY HAIR WAS WET AND I FORGOT IT WAS PHOTO
DAY. AND THE PHOTOGRAPHER A
60-YEAR-OLD LARGE MAN, GAVE ME HIS JACKET AND HIS TIE. THAT’S WHY THE KNOT IS THE SIZE
OF MY FACE. ( LAUGHTER ).>>IT’S GREAT!>>Stephen: I’M GOING TO TWEET
THIS OUT. I’LL START THIS WITH THE
HASHTAG– #PUBERME. AND I ENCOURAGE ALL OTHER
CELEBRITIES.>>I’M SHOUTING YOU OUT, THE
ROCK! I’M SHOUTING YOU UP ON THE THE
HILLARY CLINTON.>>Stephen: LET’S MAKE THIS
INTERESTING, OKAY. LET’S MAKE THIS INTERESTING. I HAVE AN ICE CREAM FUND, A
CHARITABLE FUND. THE AMECICONE ICE CREAM. FOR EVERY CELEBRITY THAT PUTS UP
A PUBERTY PICTURE OF WHEN THEY’RE 13 AND PUT UP #PUBERME–
AND I’LL DECIDE WHAT A CELEBRITY IS, THANK YOU. ( LAUGHTER )
I’LL GIVE A DONATION FROM THE AMERICONE ICE CREAM FUN AND IT
DEPENDS HOW MANY PEOPLE DOLL IT BECAUSE I ONLY HAVE SO MUCH
MONEY IN THE FUND.>>AND I WILL MATCH THAT.>>Stephen: AND TO PUERTO RICO
HURRICANE RELIEF.>>THAT’S EXACTLY IT. PERFECT, DONE.>>Stephen: I DON’T KNOW HOW
MUCH MONEY THERE IS. WE WILL DO OUR BEST. “BIG MOUTH” IS THIS FRIDAY ON
NETFLIX, EVERYBODY.