PowerPoint – SNL

PowerPoint – SNL

October 31, 2019 100 By Peter Engel


>>OKAY.
TEAM SALES CORE INDUSTRIES.>>AND ON BEHALF OF MICROSOFT.
WE WANT TO THANK YOU FOR LETTING US HELP YOU BRUSH UP ON YOUR
POWERPOINT SKILLS.>>WE ASKED YOU TO PAIR UP AND
ASKED YOU TO CREATE A MOCK POWER POINT PRESENTATION.
WE HAVE RYAN AND DIANE FROM SALES.
KEVIN AND CRYSTAL FROM MARKET RESEARCH.
AND, OF COURSE, HENRIETTE AND NAN OUR FUN RECEPTIONIST.
>>WE DON’T EVEN USE COMPUTERS, WE JUST USE THE PHONE.
SO, WE’LL SEE.>>HOPEFULLY OUR NATURAL CHARM
CARRIED US THROUGH.>>I’M SURE DID YOU GREAT.
>>LET’S SEE EVERYONE’S FIRST SLIDE.
>>OH, WOW! GREAT USE OF BULLET POINTS.
>>WELL, WHAT CAN I SAY, WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM.
>>DID WE TELL YOU WE’RE DATING?>>YES, A COUPLE TIMES.
>>HOW ABOUT YOU TWO. OKAY, A NICE BORDER HERE.
MARKET RESEARCH BRINGING OUR A-GAME.
>>HENRIETTA AND NAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT, LITTLE TROUBLE
THERE. NO WORRIES.
>>HEY, LADY, IT’S OKAY. YOU DID A GREAT JOB.
YOU’RE DEFINITELY COMMUNICATING SOMETHING.
>>WE’RE SO SORRY.>>GUYS IT’S FINE.
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED.>>I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO
START. THIS IS NOT MY WORLD.
>>THAT’S OKAY, LADIES, IT’S JUST A PRACTICE.
>>THERE’S ALL THESE LITTLE BUTTONS WITH PICTURES IN THEM.
YEAH, I BELIEVE THEY’RE CALLED DIGIFILE.
AND STRANGE THINGS STARTED HAPPENING.
>>WE MADE TRASH, SIR.>>DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON’T WE JUST FOCUS ON YOUR
PRESENTATION AND SEE WHERE WE CAN HELP.
>>IS THAT OKAY WITH EVERYBODY ELSE?
>>ABSOLUTELY.>>SURE.
>>YEAH, I GOT TO SEE THIS.>>OKAY, AWESOME.
WELL, WE ASKED YOU TO MAKE SOME SLIDES ABOUT THINGS YOU’RE
PASSIONATE ABOUT. SO, HENRIETTA AND NAN, LET’S
CHECK THOSE OUT.>>CORN BREAD.
>>ALL RIGHT. AND YOU CROSSED IT OUT.
>>OKAY. ALL RIGHT, IT LOOKS LIKE CAROLE
KING AND I SEE A SMALL WAYNE BRADY IN THE CORNER.
>>BUT THAT WAS ALREADY THERE.>>YEAH, WE ACTUALLY TRIED TO
GET RID OF HIM.>>ALRIGHT.
AND AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE, I FEEL LIKE I’M AT THE POINT IN
WHICH I CAN’T LEARN.>>IT’S ALL RIGHT.
WE ASKED YOU TO CHOOSE A GRAPH OF YOUR CHOICE.
AND YOU PICKED A CLOCK ON A SHELF.
>>WE PICK FIXED IT IN THE NEXT WAY.
>>NOW THERE’S TWO CLOCKS.>>ONE FOR EACH OF US.
>>THE NEXT PICTURE A BOY WITH A SPEAKER IN HIS EYE.
>>WE THOUGHT WE COULD MAKE A MUSIC VIDEO.
>>THE WORD UNDO AND A PICTURE OF KNIVES.
>>WE KEPT HITTING UNDO.>>AND YOU ADDED MORE KNIVES.
>>I’M A TOTAL SIMPLE TURD.>>I’M AN IDIOT.
>>MY HUSBAND HAS TO TIE MY SHOES IN THE MORNING.
I ONLY WENT TO PRESCHOOL. I TRIPPED IN CHURCH AND I SHOWED
MY ASS.>>ONCE I COULDN’T FIGURE OUT
HOW TO TURN OFF MY RADIO, SO I POURED WATER ON IT, AND I BLEW
UP MY HOUSE.>>LADIES YOU DON’T NEED TO DO
THIS.>>NO, I’M NOT DONE.
I AM NOT DILIGENT ABOUT BRUSHING MY TEETH.
I DO IT EVERY DAY OR WHATEVER.>>AND I WIPE AS BEST I CAN, BUT
THERE’S ALWAYS MORE.>>OH, MY GOD.
STOP.>>JUST STOP.
>>WE CANNOT UNHEAR THAT.>>EVERY DAY OR WHATEVER?
>>I’M JUST GOING TO GO AHEAD AND QUIT OUT OF THIS, SO WE
CAN SAY YOU CAN STAY ON THE PHONES SO YOU NEVER HAVE TO USE
POWER POINT AGAIN.>>THANK GOD.
>>NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.>>AND BITCH, BRUSH YOUR TEETH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]