Stephen Examines The Conservative ‘Walk Away’ Memes

Stephen Examines The Conservative ‘Walk Away’ Memes

October 8, 2019 100 By Peter Engel


WELCOME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. WELL, FOLKS —
( CHEERS )
I GOT THE SAME FEELING. I GOT THE SAME FEELING BECAUSE
IT’S FRIDAY, YOU KNOW.( CHEERS )
THAT IS A GOOD FEELING.
I’M READY FOR A COCKTAIL. JUST LET THE SWEET DARKNESS
COVER ME BECAUSE YESTERDAY– IT WAS YESTERDAY–
YESTERDAY WAS THE COURT-ORDERED DEADLINE FOR THE IMMIGRANT
FAMILIES THAT WERE SEPARATED BY ICE, AND THE ADMINISTRATION SAYS
THEY MADE IT… GIVE OR TAKE ABOUT 1,000 KIDS. AND IT WAS REPORTED THIS WEEK
THAT ICE HAS BEEN CHARGING PARENTS TO CALL THEIR KIDS, FOR
UP TO $8 PER MINUTE.>>Jon: WOW!>>Stephen: PHONE SEX LINES
DON’T EVEN COST THAT MUCH… I HAVE HEARD.( LAUGHTER )
I CERTAINLY HAVE NEVER CHARGE
OVER $6.99 A MINUTE.( LAUGHTER )
BUT NOT EVERY CALL, IT TURNS
OUT, COSTS MONEY. IT TURNS OUT THERE’S AN 800
NUMBER. ONE PARENT CALLING THE NUMBER
FOR INFORMATION ON THEIR CHILD WAS TOLD, “IT’S GONNA BE FOUR TO
FIVE DAYS.” FOUR TO FIVE DAYS! KIND OF A VAGUE WINDOW. YOU KNOW YOU’RE THE BAD GUYS
WHEN YOU MAKE COMCAST LOOK GOOD.( LAUGHTER )
THIS STORY IS SO AWFUL, IT COULD
ACTUALLY AFFECT REPUBLICANS IN
THE 2018 MIDTERMS AND CONSERVATIVES ARE PUSHING A NEW
MEME SHOWING DEMOCRATS WHO HAVE LEFT THEIR PARTY– LIKE THIS
ONE, WHERE A MAN DECIDES TO #WALKAWAY FROM THE DEMOCRATS
OVER THEIR POSITION ON IMMIGRANTS OR THE #WALKAWAY
STORY OF THIS BEARDED, TATTOOED HIPSTER. IT DOESN’T SAY WHICH POLICY
TURNED THEM OFF. SOME OF THESE POSTS HAVE 35,000
SHARES, INCLUDING ONE FROM GINNI THOMAS, WIFE OF SUPREME COURT
JUSTICE, CLARENCE THOMAS. MEMES ARE JUST HOW THE THOMAS
FAMILY COMMUNICATES. WE ALL REMEMBER JUSTICE THOMAS’
OPINION IN “CITIZENS UNITED.” “ERMAGERD! MERNEY EQUALS SPERCH!”
OR WORDS TO THAT EFFECT. BUT IT’S NOT JUST SUPREME
SPOUSES SENDING THESE MEMES AROUND, BECAUSE RECENTLY, SWARMS
OF RUSSIAN TROLL ACCOUNTS MADE #WALKAWAY ONE OF THE HIGHEST
RANKING HASHTAGS ON TWITTER. OH, SO RUSSIAN TROLLS MAKE
THINGS TREND. THAT MAKES SENSE. I KNEW THERE WAS NO WAY THAT
MANY PEOPLE WERE EXCITED ABOUT A “FRASIER” REBOOT.( LAUGHTER )
BUT STILL, IT’S IMPRESSIVE THAT
THERE ARE SO MANY YOUNG, DIVERSE
DEMOCRATS WILLING TO WALK AWAY FROM THEIR PARTY. IT MAKES YOU WONDER WHERE THEY
FOUND THEM. WELL, IT TURNS OUT IT WAS ON THE
STOCK PHOTO WEBSITE, SHUTTERSTOCK. I’M NOT SURPRISED. I AM NOT– I AM NOT IN ANY WAY
SURPRISED. I’VE GONE ONTO SHUTTERSTOCK AND
I FOUND OUT ALL THE STOCK PHOTOS ARE TAKING STRONG
POLITICAL STANDS. FOR EXAMPLE, THIS STIRRING CALL
TO ACTION: “IT’S TIME TO #WALKAWAY IN THE MOST
GENERICALLY DIVERSE WAY POSSIBLE!”
( LAUGHTER )
AND I WAS DEEPLY MOVED BY THIS
WOMAN, WHO’S #WALKINGAWAY BECAUSE
“THE DEMOCRATS WANT TO REGULATE MY VIRTUAL REALITY CORN.” OF COURSE, THIS ONE CAPTURES THE
CRISIS OF OUR DIVIDED NATION WITH “I WALKED AWAY BECAUSE THE
LEFT WON’T ACCEPT HUMAN-PINEAPPLE HYBRIDS.”