Wanna See Some Pictures? | MPGIS S3 | Episode 22

January 13, 2020 0 By Peter Engel

Previously on The Most Popular Girls in School Goddamn parent teacher conference! …your daughter have broken my daughter’s
nose. There is or was a fucking possum… Let’s split up into pairs and figure out a
way to resolve this disagreement… Roleplay, hm? Can we just make it easy and
do senator bags a coed? I don’t like the way she’s looking at my husband. I know what you mean. It’s just a word, come on! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck, she’s such a fucking
cunt! Ugh! Can’t believe I’m here doing this still.
I should be back on the hill. I’m supposed to be in Washington right now. I’m sorry,
if that’s rude. Oh no, I agree. There are way better things
for you to be doing right now. Like, um, I don’t know, me. Me on a couch. Me in a motel.
Ooh! Me in a castle! Look, you seem like a perfectly nice young
lady, but I just- Want to see some pictures?! Ah, here’s a picture
of me. There’s me on Spring Break. There’s me at the beach. I had a really cute bikini
on that day. Uh-oh, where’d the bikini go? How did that happen? Well I guess now it’s
just a picture of my boobs! You know, whatever, we’ve all got ’em. Well, this next picture
is, um…oh, these are my boobs. These: my boobs. My boobs. My twin sisters- I’m kidding,
I don’t have twin sisters- my boobs. Um, this one’s kind of fuzzy-oh, oh, oh, I know what
this was, uh this was my boobs, my boobs, crotch shot, oh there’s a little picture of
my dog, Vodka! Ok, and then, um, this is a picture of boobs. These are like, two mountains
or something- oh no, no, that’s my boobs. That’s fun. Um, cool, oh, this is like an
Instagram effect I put on this one, it makes it look like boobs. Um, this one’s fun. Oh,
there’s another picture of Vodka. She’s like right next to my boobs. Um. She’s so cute!
So are my boobs! These are my boobs, these are my boobs, these are my tits. Just kidding,
it’s the same thing as my boobs. Sometimes I call them breasts too. Or mountains, montanas,
sometimes. Anyway, um, this is boobs. Boobs, boobs, boobs, boobs. Boobs, boobs. Boobs,
ok, and then, to round it out, boobs. And one more, boobs. Um, excuse me for asking but, why would you
keep so many naked pictures of yourself on your phone? So that when I meet a new boy who’s interested
in dating me, I can send them to him and let him know that I too am interested. And also
that I have spectacular breasts. While that is quite true, wouldn’t you be
concerned that he might show them to someone else or even worse, post them on the world
wide web? Oh Senator, no, that’s why I use Snapchat!
That way, they’re deleted as soon as he sees them. I don’t understand. You mean this Snapchat
automatically deletes photos so that they can’t be spread around? You don’t know about Snapchat? Oh Senator,
you and I are going to get along just fine. What do you think they’re talking about over
there? Ummmm, looks like gum. Yeah I’m pretty sure
they’re talking about gum. You can read lips? What? No. Wait, do you write on lips? I just- I don’t trust girls like that. I know what you mean. I don’t trust the Irish. What? Why don’t you trust the Irish? They’re just so selfish, you know? Keeping
all the precious, precious cereal all to themselves. Are you talking specifically about the Lucky
Charms leprechaun? Indeed I am. I also have many issues with
rabbits. Ugh girls like that, they have no idea what
the real world is like! They just float through life with their miniskirts, and their jello
shots, and their status updates. They have no idea of the shitstorm that’s awaiting them
on the other side. They don’t know what it’s like trying to raise a family, trying to take
care of the kids while your husband is over in Washington doing God knows what with Lord
knows who! And then the few weekends a year he does decide to grace us with his presence,
he’s surprised that after a day of taking care of his goddamn children and his diabetic
dog, who needs an insulin shot in the morning and at night, you don’t really have the energy
to crawl around on all fours acting grateful that his three inch half-chub has decided
to make an appearance. No, honey, the thought of the thirty-seconds of pump and grunt that
you call sex has nothing to do with why I haven’t been able to get wet in the last ten
years! I know exactly what you mean. It’s like, he’s
a rabbit. He shouldn’t be eating cereal. He should be eating rabbit food. Really? Yeah, they make food specifically for rabbits. I don’t know, I still just- it doesn’t feel
natural using those words all the time. Well, you see the trick is you’re not cursing
all the time. You’re not throwing your fucks out all willy-nilly. You do that, and the
words lose all their meaning. It’s like a stew. If you use too much salt and pepper,
when you taste it, you’re not gonna like it. Curses have to be looked at like spices. You
never want to use too much or they lose their impact. You’ve got to pick your spots. The
less you curse, the more powerful the words can be. Tell me something good Frank. Well then you
tell those little fucking bitchy cunts that if they don’t get their fucking shit together,
I will personally bitch slap each one of those pussies up and down fucking Wall Street. If
this fucking deal goes fucking fuckity fuck shit, I will happily knuckle-fuck every last
one of those pussy-ass bitches, rings on! And you know my rings, Frank. You fucking
hear me? You fucking hear me through those little twat ears? Good! Now get it done, you
fuck. You bitch. You little bitchy fuck bitch! So like I was saying, the key is moderation. Everything is awesome! Everything is cool
when you’re part of a team! Everything is awesome! Uh, Mr. McNeely, can we go? Yeah, this is taking forever. Girls, this is how situations like this get
resolved. I think your parents are going to come back in here with some really creative
ways for us to just move past this conflict. You just wait, we’re about to finally get
some resolution to this whole ugly situation. Well the way you were looking at her, why
didn’t you just fuck her right there in the hallway?! Oh Goddamn Pam! This again! She’s nineteen
years old, for Christ’s sake! Oh since when does that stop you Senator Hard
Dick of the 69th District? Well then tell them they can take their fucking
proposal, roll it up tight, lube up both ends and go fucking ass to ass all night because
it’ll be a cold day in hell before I sign off on that bullshit offer. I mean, are we supposed to believe that it’s
his colored beak that gives him the power to turn the fruit into loops?! Alright, everybody. Well it looks like my
experiment was a little bit less productive than I thought it would be. Actually, I found it to be very productive.
I had a wonderful time. Oh I bet you did, you floozy. You cheap cheap
hussy! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
you have saggy old lady breasts. Don’t hate the player, just hate the fact that your body
is starting to die. Ok, enough! Since conflict resolution is clearly
not working, let’s just skip it all together and move straight to the discipline. Parents,
we are not leaving this room until each one of you tells me exactly how you plan on disciplining
your child. Mr and Mrs Darabond? Alright, well, Jenna had her nose broken,
so we think that was punishment enough. Right, honey? Yes, I agree with Senator Micropenis. Haha, what a jokester. Alright, moving on. Mrs. Zales? What? No, Frank. No. Hold on. Mackenzie, what
do you like to do? Uh, I don’t know, like shopping. Ok, she can’t go shopping for a week. What?! Mrs. Matthews? Well, Brittnay is going to be grounded for
a- No, no I’m not. Ok, well, we are going to take away her- No you’re not, Mom. Well we’re going to limit her- Not a fucking chance. Well I- How about this? I lose my car via fire and
now I have to drive around in a Leaf. A fucking standard feature Nissan Leaf, Mom! Does that
sound fair to everybody? That sound reasonable? Yeah?! Ok, is everybody fine with that?! Ok. Mrs. Cappelletti? Well, for one, we are definitely going to
limit my daughter’s exposure to opossums. Oh come on! This is some bullshit! I hope
it was worth it guys! Alright, and lastly, I guess, Ms. Van Buren. Well, I think the only fair punishment for
Shay is that she be her sister’s personal slave for a year. Cameron, no. Ok fine, ten months. No. Make me dinner for three weeks. Absolutely not. Wash my car. Fine. I will pay to have your car washed. Alright, but you’re gonna Armor All the shit
out of those fucking tires. Ok, well, because I seriously doubt that any
of you have learned anything from this entire situation, if I hear about one more incident
from any of you, there will no be more cheerleading this year, and that includes the state championship
game. What?! What? Wow Mr. Mack, you are tough. But you are fair. You know what, Mr. McNeely? This is fucking
bullshit and this whole day has been nothing more than a giant waste of my time and everybody
else’s. So thanks a lot, dickhole! You know what, Brittnay, I probably shouldn’t
say this, but you can be a real fucking bitch sometimes. Wha- Wha- Mom? Did you hear what he just said
to me? Yeah, he said you can be a real fucking bitch
sometimes. A real fucking bitch. Maybe you open your goddamn ears sometime, you could
fucking learn something.